


wrote your name next to mine

by honeycbx



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Insecurity, M/M, honestly i deserve a tag that embodies my personal worldview, or something like that, that all friendship is inherently romantic in nature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycbx/pseuds/honeycbx
Summary: donghae has a song. ryeowook has doubts.
Relationships: Kim Ryeowook/Lee Donghae
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	wrote your name next to mine

and donghae—when donghae writes, it's messy. he has his vision, his end goal, but he doesn't mind detours so much. he likes the process of watching the song come to life under his hands. 

he'd known, the moment he decided he wanted this to be a unit song, that it would be a battle to get it done. not because anyone would argue against it, exactly, but because donghae knew he wanted ryeowook on it. and ryeowook tends to be… difficult, to say the least. 

“i don't think i should do it.”

“no offense,” donghae says, “but i don't care what you want.”

“hyung,” ryeowook says, playing at some affectation of hurt, but donghae isn't going to let him get away so easily. 

“i wrote this song, this part, with you in mind. i wrote it for you, ryeowook.”

“but it doesn't have to be me,” ryeowook points out. “kyuhyun could do it just as well. even better, actually.”

“if i wanted kyuhyun, i would've gone to him first.” it's a little reminiscent of trying to pick a fight with a brick wall. not that donghae has experience, but he's pretty sure a wall is just as immovable. when ryeowook doesn't immediately reply, donghae pulls the lowest card he can. “please, ryeowook-ah? it would make hyung so happy if you did it.”

“hyung,” ryeowook starts, and doesn't finish, but donghae can still hear the little waver in his voice, minute and barely there except for how donghae has spent the better part of two decades memorizing him. he knows ryeowook, and right now he knows if he pushes any further, ryeowook—torn between his love for his hyungs and whatever insecurities are eating at him—might legitimately cry.

“at least think about it,” donghae says, easing off the subject. ryeowook nods once, solemn and silent, twisting his ring around and around on his finger. 

“i just don't think it will sound good,” ryeowook hedges. he'd agreed, at last, but had thus far avoided every one of donghae’s attempts to corner him into a recording booth. 

“so you don't think my song sounds good?”

“hyung!” ryeowook says, panicky. “it's not that. it's a great song, i swear, i didn't mean—”

“ryeowook,” donghae interrupts. “it's okay. i know you didn't.”

ryeowook takes a breath. “sorry.”

“it's okay.” donghae looks at his phone, as if he's the one who needs saving from this conversation, then says, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“it's nothing,” ryeowook says. it's almost honest, too, which impresses donghae. 

“your definition of nothing, or ours?” 

ryeowook hesitates. “mine. probably.”

“so talk to me.”

“i just feel—” ryeowook huffs out a sigh. “i don't think my voice fits this genre. that's all.”

donghae manages not to laugh. “ryeowook, i'm not delusional. i've known you for fifteen years, and you don't trust me to know what your voice sounds like?”

“it's not that,” ryeowook says, but he doesn't offer another explanation. 

“i don't get it,” donghae says after a minute. “is it too much to ask you not to leave me in the dust, this time?”

“sorry.” ryeowook tucks his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself, looking for all the world like a small breeze might blow him apart, or away. “i don't know what it is. i know you want me, which makes me want to say yes, but thinking about it… i'm so terrified i'm going to ruin it, which makes me want to say no. does that make sense?” 

“sure,” donghae says. “but—i think, personally, that every song you've ever sung or written is better for you having touched it. you're a phenomenal singer.”

“better than kyuhyun?” ryeowook asks, in a way that might've been a joke if his voice weren't so flat. when donghae doesn't immediately reply, ryeowook continues, “i guess that's the point, isn't it? maybe i'm not insecure or anything, because i know i'm a good singer. but sometimes i just feel like—like what's the point of asking me when he's right there? and it's not fair to complain to anyone else, because we get opportunities and exposure no one else does.”

“but you can't complain to him either,” donghae fills in, “because he's your best friend and you know he'd feel guilty about it.”

“yeah,” ryeowook says, sounding tired more than anything else. “it would eat him alive.”

so you let it eat you alive instead, is what donghae very tactfully doesn't say. what he does say is, “i don't know how to convince you to see my point of view.”

“maybe you can't,” ryeowook replies sadly.

“i don't know how to get him to say yes,” donghae complains. jungsoo raises an eyebrow. 

“i don't know why you ever set yourself up to have to negotiate with him.”

“i didn't think it would be such an issue.” donghae sighs, falling into his chair. “i mean, i'm close to just saying ‘fuck it’ and scrapping the whole song.”

“why not just ask kyuhyun?” jungsoo suggests. and the thing is that donghae knows he means well, is only trying to offer solutions and doesn't know the whole picture, but it still makes irrational rage bubble up inside him.

“that's the problem, hyung,” he says, and he thinks he manages to keep most of the anger out of his voice. “i want ryeowook. i wrote those parts with his voice in mind, and it wouldn't sound the same without him, and anyway if i ask kyuhyun to do it and kyuhyun says yes—which he will—and the song sounds good with him on it, it's just proving ryeowook’s point.”

“and what, exactly, is ryeowook’s point?”

at this, donghae pauses. “i—don't know.”

jungsoo very indulgently doesn't roll his eyes at donghae’s non-answer. 

“what i mean is, i don't think he knows. i think—he's got this idea in his head that there isn't anything that sets him apart, musically speaking, from kyuhyun, except for kyuhyun being better than him. sounding better, or more technically skilled, i don't know. it's kind of impossible to get a clear answer out of him.” donghae pauses to breathe, but not for very long. “and it's all been fun and games, all jokes, or whatever, and i don't think any of us have ever realized that ryeowook isn't as put-together as we all act like he is. is that—do you think that's true? because i feel like it might be. like, how many of us are actually, yknow, keeping an eye on him like that?”

“breathe,” jungsoo interrupts. donghae breathes. “donghae, just the fact that you've noticed all of this means that you've been paying attention. that you've been keeping an eye on him. do you think it's possible that your concern is blowing all of this out of proportion?”

“maybe,” donghae admits. “but if that were true, why wouldn't he say yes to me?”

“that i don't have an answer to,” jungsoo says. donghae mulls that over. “should i be searching for another b-side?” 

“no,” donghae says automatically. “i don't know. maybe.” 

“see?” donghae resists the urge to say i told you so, barely. “it's good.”

ryeowook frowns, fingers curling and uncurling the corner of his lyrics sheet. “are you sure?”

“ryeowook. it's exactly how i imagined it. it's exactly what i wanted. thank you.” 

ryeowook still doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't argue any further. “i still don't think—this repackage, this concept—”

“i know,” donghae assures him. “but you're doing fantastically, with the singing and learning the choreo and everything. and you have to admit it's kind of fun, trying something new.” 

this time, the corners of ryeowook’s mouth quirk into the beginnings of a smile. “yeah, i guess so.”

relief floods donghae's veins. “that's all this was. an experiment. and i personally think it turned out really well, but if you hated it so much, then we never have to do it again. at least you can say you've tried.”

“i didn't completely hate it,” ryeowook says, offering a real—however small—smile this time. “because it was you. i didn't hate it.”

“good,” donghae says, barely above a whisper, linking their pinkies together above the little heart ryeowook had doodled earlier. “i'm glad you didn't.”

**Author's Note:**

> tbh i wrote this in an hour on my phone and did not edit or proofread so... yeah.


End file.
